Given the possibility of race conditions and so on, it seems entirely
unsafe to just assume that shm_toc_lookup() always finds the key it's
looking for --- but that was exactly what all but one call site were
doing.  To fix, add a "bool noError" argument, similarly to what we
have in many other functions, and throw an error on an unexpected
lookup failure.  Remove now-redundant Asserts that a rather random
subset of call sites had.

I doubt this will throw any light on buildfarm member lorikeet's
recent failures, because if an unnoticed lookup failure were involved,
you'd kind of expect a null-pointer-dereference crash rather than the
observed symptom.  But you never know ... and this is better coding
practice even if it never catches anything.

Discussion: https://postgr.es/m/9697.1496675981@sss.pgh.pa.us